The Time is Now

My moment.

This moment in time is all I have,

This day of my life is the most important to grab,

This morning I rise prepared to do what it takes,

Today is my chance so the most I will make,

Out of each and every moment, including this very,

So this must be deep, I make sure that it’s heavy,

But never too much to bare, we’re already prepared,

And because it’s all we have I better not dare,

Sit idle and wait for the time to be right,

I can’t hope and pray that one day I’ll see the light,

I must live in the moment, and maximize the second,

I don’t know which tomorrow will end with me naked,

Lying in a wood box six feet down below,

Where the sound can’t be heard, and the days are so slow,

At least that’s what I think, what really happens, who knows,

But the one thing that’s certain, is that moment will come,

So I must live my dream now and not sweat what’s to come,

And what’s really to fear, one thing is already clear,

I know what not living my dream is like,

I spend every day here,

So I’m off to live now, I’m off to get to my moment,

And when I end my journey, in that last, quiet second,

Even then, I will own it.

They say today is the first day of the rest of your life; I’ve had to learn how true that is no matter how obvious it may seem. In that spirit it is so crucial that we maximize each day on our paths to our destinations; we never know when this journey will end so there is little time for fretting and never any time for regret.

We all have dreams and ambitions that we carry from day to day unfulfilled. These ideas and passions are bubbling with possibilities as they fill us with anxiety and fear. But our anxiety and fear are many times misunderstood; I think we misinterpret these feelings as reasons or signals to not pursue our goals. In my experience I have found that those feelings are more about our potential to achieve what we truly want if we are willing to step out and step up in our thoughts and actions. Deep down we know that we can get to where we want be, we’re just hesitant to go.

Well today is the day to get on your way; you know what I’m talking about and what needs to be done. And as you get on your way you will start to see that your expectations will begin to change as you begin to move towards your dreams. We only have so many moments in this experience; it’s only fair to ourselves that we make the most of them.

I love you,

Brandon

What's Love Got to Do With It

It’s deeper than you think

Action for real has got to start ASAP,

So many of my people hurting, they why rap,

The hurt isn’t always found in they pockets,

Most of the time it’s in their heart, and they can’t stop it.

It comes from not knowing who they truly are,

It stems from the fact that they look up to stars,

But not the ones in the sky up high, 

It’s the ones on t.v. fooling folks with their lies,

Got proud people feeling even less than they worth,

As they internalize it all, it turns into hurt

So now I’m alienated and feel I don’t belong,

Now I don’t give a fuck when it comes to right and wrong,

Don’t care if she got a man, I just see that thong,

Not thinking about no seed, I’m just trying to bust, then I’m gone,

Damn, now I done gone and repeated the cycle,

I need to look at the man in the mirror,

And change him up like Michael.

Now I’m working for nothing, at least that’s how it feels,

I’m stressed out all the time, plus my ole girl ain’t for real,

I mean she ain’t fake, just overcome by her fate,

She my baby mama to be, not just this chick I date,

We gonna be a family, and live happily ever after,

It’s gonna be all good, no worries, no pains,

That’s what she be telling me; now I know she insane!

I barely know this chick, just topped her off with my tip,

She popped up pregnant, and we keeping the kid,

So I’ll take care of it, and treat her like shit,

And hope our seed grow up to live better than this,

But what would’ve happened if I had held my nutt,

What would our future hold if I ain’t fall for her butt,

I don’t know, I can’t tell you what’s coming,

But I can promise you that fucking is about way more than just cumming.

As we take time to celebrate “love” this week always remember that everything we do is interdependent; so the outcomes of our relationships are dependent on the input of our lives.

We must be fulfilled alone to be complete together; completion can only be maintained as long as we remain a unit. Unity can only be sustained with unconditional love; it’s hard to be truly open and accepting to someone else if we aren’t okay with ourselves (better yet, in love with ourselves). All of this is very important for many reasons, but one of the most important is that the product or fruit of our union will be impacted immediately by the circumstances under which it is created.

As I said in the beginning, all that we do is interdependent; just a good thing to keep in mind as we go through life looking for love. We will eventually find that we didn’t have to look very far for love, and once it is found we must move forward maintaining it as lovingly as possible because the fruit we bear will ripen or rot to death based on how it is nurtured. We can’t take care of anyone else if we can’t take care of ourselves.

I love you,

Brandon

But you're not me

Sometimes I ask my friends if they think I can make it,

Do they think I have what it takes, to the top can I take it?

And after a little while they start to respond,

giving me the opinion that I rely on,

To give the extra push to get to my goals,

But this is my situation, so I must take control.

And when I sit back and think about what they said,

That passive, aggressive hate starts to hurt my head.

I asked if I could do it, and they said maybe,

I just have to make sure that I don’t go about it lazy.

I asked if I could do it, and they said I might,

Just make sure you don’t waste your time chasing shawties all night.

I asked if I could do it, and they said If my timing is right,

But I don’t have no room for error, so I better make every move right.

I asked if they believed in me, and they claimed they did,

I just better not make the same mistakes they did.

And I appreciate the warnings and I appreciate their care,

But all them traps they speak of ain’t gonna keep me from getting there.

Because now I’ve come to realize that it’s actually easy to see,

They be thinking about themselves when they talking about me,

Imagining if they could really reach my goals,

Wondering in their heart, do they have enough soul?

 So that’s why I quit asking and just got to doing,

Because waiting on approval just makes my day ruined.

And even if they do approve I still gotta do all the work,

So I might as well just give my all cause that’s what I’m worth.

And with my true effort and support from honest, helping hands,

I can achieve any goal that starts with a solid plan.

But I’m the main one, I’m the one that has to be convinced,

So it has to start with me, my convincing must come from within.

Many times we seek advice or help from others as we try to find our path in life; sometimes we get genuinely good input for those that we seek out. However, many times after we have asked for input from others we end up feeling less able than we asked for the input.

The good news is that our outcomes are not dictated by what our supporters believe; we are in control of our destiny, and so we must be the one that believes the most in our dreams and aspirations.

Advice is a valuable thing to seek, but approval is not necessary from the outside. Only we know what we are truly capable of; so just keep it real with you and get to work. Once you’ve decided you’re going for the goal, just go, don’t wait for anyone else to say it’s okay. You already know it is.

I love you,

Brandon

Was it Really the Gun?

Was it really the gun that killed those people,

Or was it just a person that didn’t feel equal,

Was it really the pistol that caused all that drama,

Or was it just the pain from missing his mama,

Being in love going over the edge,

Not having the courage to just walk away from the ledge,

Pulling out the tool and shooting up half the school,

Running up and down the halls blasting like a fool,

Was it really the gun that made me do it,

Made me pop you in the head, 

Then watch your blood start flowing out like fluid,

What was the cause, and how did I get here,

Staring in my rearview with a face full of tears,

A mouth full of sorrow, and a heart full of regret,

Things I want to say, but don’t know quite how to yet,

Was it all the pain that I live with daily, slowly killing me, 

I can’t even love my babies,

Maybe it’s the stress that’s filling my mind,

Everyday is a struggle, I’m having a hard time surviving the grind,

Maybe it’s the lack of affection that I get from the world,

I don’t get any attention unless I shake up the world,

Well shaking things up sure is gonna be easy,

I got all these triggers and they screaming to me, “Squeeze me”

If I had to do it all hand to hand, 

It sure would be a lot tougher to slaughter my fellow man,

I’d have to look him the eye and listen to each cry,

Feel the loss of your breath with every blow to your chest,

This is getting kind of personal,

I am actually connected to the person who,

I’m projecting my pain into,

Instead of having the strength to get through,

All the questions that I asked in the beginning,

At the end of this game there is no winning,

I’m not free, and you’re blown away,

We both end up with so much more to say,

So maybe it was the gun, and maybe it wasn’t,

It really don’t matter, 

My misunderstood feelings got the whole world buzzing,

Finally I've been heard!

In the wake of so many seemingly random shootings our nation seems to be focusing on the tools used in the incidents as opposed to the feelings that led to the circumstances that we are too familiar with.

I own a gun and I hope I never use it; it sits atop my book shelf waiting but I hope it waits for eternity. Just as my gun sits and waits, so does the blood in my body waiting to boil to a point where I am ready to cause harm to others as well as myself. I spend many hours exploring my feelings so that I don’t get to a place where my blood does start to boil. 

I think as a group we should try to find out why we feel what we do, the answers are very close to us. When we find these answers we will be able to understand ourselves, and our fellow beings, a lot better; so much better that harming them, or us, will become an idea that is just not worth even considering, even in the most dire circumstances.

I hope that we will focus on the why instead of the how going forward. The why is what can change, the how will always be at our fingertips, just waiting for some inspiration.

I love you,

Brandon

Who's the Leader

Reflection on the Election

I ain’t vote, and I didn’t die,

If anything, I feel, more alive

Because I looked at the choices, and saw through the lies,

Instead of a two party system I see old white old guys,

That look sort of the same, but in different color ties,

Telling me that I should keep my eyes on the prize,

Help change the future and vote for they ticket,

But once they get elected up my ass is where they stick it,

Our system is bull shit, it’s really twisted,

But when you constantly brainwashed, it’s hard to resist it,

Plus with all the fear they pump through the airwaves,

Got my fellow Americans constantly with they hair raised.

It’s a damn shame my lil cousin was in Iraq,

Over oil and revenge, I so thankful he made it back

I’m dropping some real hard truth here, without a track,

And it’s no lies here ma’am, just the facts

And my US government is so damn grimy,

I just read true history, and it reminds me,

Of democratic governments being over thrown,

Just because we want to pick who’s on the throne,

And the only reason our interest is ever even sparked,

Is if we can make money in the light and the dark.

I’m sorry if you don’t like my story, but it’s the real,

I might end up shot down with my records sealed,

Just because I’d rather be true and represent what’s real,

Instead of bullshitting people just to get me a deal.

This is how I felt after the 2004 United States Presidential Election. I remember the campaign telling young folks like me to vote or die. These days I still feel like the less energy I put into our political system, the more alive I am. I used to be really cynical and filled with a lot of anger at our politicians and political institutions and the order that they have established in our great land. These days I just feel at peace because I know that I am making the best possible choices in the areas that I can control in my life.

As I observed my fellow Americans reacting to the recent inauguration of Mr. Barack Obama for his second term as our President, I found myself more interested in our feelings than in his words. One of the best things about being in this state that we currently find ourselves in is that we have the option to make our life what we want it to be; no matter who is the President, Vice President, Senator, Congressperson, or whatever other title they may have, we get to choose how we construct our reality.

I hope that anyone who spends a few moments on this post will look toward the future not concerned with who is going to lead them; I hope you will be focused on how you are going to lead yourself.

You know what’s best for you, and if you think you don’t know, ask yourself, but only yourself. In the end it doesn’t matter who was the leader, what matters is where you end up. Vote for yourself, vote to be your best; vote to live your life the way you need to live it, vote to love yourself and everyone as you love yourself. If you vote this way you will be at peace with the outcome of every election.

I love you,

Brandon